The Butterfly Effect

You have probably heard the tale of the man watching the butterfly.  He watches it emarege from the cocoon to a certain point and then it seems to stop as though it is having some trouble. After a while he decides to give it a hand by cutting the cocoon and helping it to emerge.  However the butterflies wings never develop properly and it can’t fly away..

When I was interviewing Amrita Hobbs she made a comment that this is what many parents are doing with their children.  Of course we all want the best for our children, we don’t like to see them struggle or in emotional pain or discomfort, we like to give to them, but are we overdoing both the giving and the doing for them?  Are we clipping the cocoon and stunting the growth of their wings?  Being stretched, being out of comfort zone, thinking, feeling and doing for ourselves, discovering we can survive and rely on our own devices are all ways to ‘colour our wings’ or in other words our character.

In the same vein, our children will go through stages in their lives where they are the caterpillar and then the butterfly. As they grow into the new phases they have to go through metamorphosis. When we don’t honour and acknowledge those transitions they emerge as a butterfly but still think they are a caterpillar (Another wise observation from Amrita). The physical transformation has occurred but the emotional and spiritual energy is still crawling around.  Ceremony and ritual create the current on which they can soar.  It is then their beauty is recognized and celebrated.

So I encourage you to think about creating ritual and ceremony as part of your everyday and in life’s journey for both yourself and your children.  If you would like guidance or help with these then contact Amrita.  Otherwise just ask the nectar in your heart what your wee butterflies need.

Yours in flight,


One Response to The Butterfly Effect

  • Hi Natalie, great article! It is true, while its tempting to want to help, we can stifle another person’s growth by doing so. And it yet, without any support doing it on our own over decades can leave us feeling exhausted and depressed. There must be a balance, or perhaps it’s the “type of help” that’s important… support versus rescuing. Anyway, beautifully said! Have a great weekend, Nessie

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