Touting the Tantrum
Yesterday while enjoying a coffee I observed the grand performance of a three year old angelic looking little girl throw a tantrum because her older sister had done something to her sand creation that she had wanted to do independently. This was a whole body tantrum – screaming, stamping, throwing herself on the ground, crying. That frustration just moved on, up and out. Immediately Mum started ‘shhing’ her. It got me thinking about how early in life we are ‘encouraged’ to suppress our feelings because it might cause a scene or make others uncomfortable. Just how much do we lock inside our being, push down, ignore, lock in?
What if we were to be like this girl and allow our strong, overwhelming, debilitation emotions to be expressed fully and then released? I am not advocating that we throw a tantrum in the supermarket or fling abuse at the people we are frustrated/furious/saddened with or to go into full flight over every challenging emotion – but to find a safe place and time to just allow the intense feelings expression and completion. We would then be in a more centred, connected and relaxed space to deal with the cause or lesson of that experience. They are then not festering inside us just waiting for the unguarded crack in the Armour to vent out of. How calm do you feel after you have had a good cry or yelled into the wind? (Of course if these forceful emotions are overwhelming you on a regular basis then seeking advice would be appropriate. I am talking about those unexpected, overpowering sensations that creep up on us and knock us for a six.)
And perhaps it doesn’t even need to be the ‘negative’ feelings that need full expression. I have had times when I feel so joyful or so loving or so peaceful that I would like to skip, sing, dance right in that moment. Sometimes I do and at other times I don’t think the lady in line behind me at the supermarket would appreciate my rendition of ‘It’s a beautiful day’. That doesn’t mean however that in the privacy of your own home you can’t let rip. Imagine filling your being and home with unbounded happiness.
I can’t help wondering if we were to allow our ‘inner child’ the freedom to express in a way that doesn’t harm ourselves or others, whether we would have fewer of the physiological symptoms of emotional stress and anxiety. Perhaps a little tantrum is just what we need. What do you think?